Me and Happy!

It still has not hit me that I graduated from high school a week ago, but I have! I've also officially moved into the new house... FINALLY!!!! :) With a new house, and just a few months away from starting college, everything seems to finally be going my way. 

Ok, maybe not my way, I mean I really did not want to move, but that is besides the point. I mean my way as finally feeling happy with myself and what is ahead. It seems as if my whole senior year, except the last few months, that I was held under, unable to be myself. I have spent the last four months or so finding my happy again. Spending time with friends, family, and just focusing on myself  has made me realize how much I missed out on. I made myself settle for one college opportunity, I  pushed away family, and I ditch my friends. Luckily this all changed when I found who actually supported me. 

First are my friends, Jen, Kris, and Manda! Ahh, how thankful I am for them. Finding my true friends was a big part of my last year in high school. These three girls have seen me at my worst of wanting an Apple Watch, crying through a break up, and really excited for no reason. I truly would not have made it through this last year without them. Manda always makes sure I am okay, Jen can always make me laugh, and Kris is the one to go after anyone I ask her to. All three are there no matter what, and we all four have become our own family. 

Second, my family. What mom would support and hate your decisions at the same time? My mom! As much as she has hated or strongly disagreed with my decisions, she would support me more. No other person can possible support me more. My dad, the man who tells me what he thinks, and ends up being right about 90% of the time. If it were not for my mom and dad risking jobs, paying tuition, and their endless love, I would not make it. 

Last, focusing on me. I finished high school stronger than I thought I would, and it has made me see that hard times will come, but you can get through them. I no longer try to impress or make anyone else happy but me. I am only one person and can not tend to everyone's needs, but I try my best to a good friend and daughter.

 I have also found that, not worrying or even thinking  about such small things will make it all easier. I tend to make things harder than the really are, and it helps to just not stress, and look at what is ahead. I found a quote that says "I love the person I've become, because I fought to be her" I relate to this because I've been through a lot to get where I am, and I want to continue to be happy, and build my faith, friendships, and love for others to be the best me. 

"Be truly glad there is wonderful joy ahead - 1 Peter 1:6"

Is it Really Over?

Where do I even begin? There has been so much happening within the past month, that I barely can keep up with myself. The last thing I posted about was moving and prom. So... I guess there?

Moving: We are still not in this new house. I am getting to the point where I just want to move my stuff in and be done. It has been about two months and we still are not in. This is ridiculous!

Prom: (Keep reading)

 Prom was absolutely amazing! I had a guy who I sort of grew up with, Chase, contact me and said he would love to take me to prom and I said yes, So that was pretty awesome! We danced then had senior presentations. I expected it to be awkward because I had not seen Chase in a while, but we had an amazing time! The night ended with us all hanging out, and staying at Jenifer's house. Within the three proms I have been to, this year was the best. Being with all friends and just having a good night.

So, that is the update part, but this post is titled "Is it Really Over?" and I am talking about school.

 I just finished my last week of school! Well, besides finals! This next week consist of three written exams and two project exams. Yesterday was the day we all brought in our oxford button downs and had everyone sign them. I cried twice, Once with a girl named Simone, who I have been in school with since 6th grade and again with my cousin who I have spent the last three years with.

High school, the times of friends, academics, extra curricular activities and the the best time of your life. May 15, 2016, is it really over?

The memories of my friends will never fade, but the thought of not seeing them everyday is starting hit me. It is getting to me that I will no longer see or talk to my friends every acceptable minute while in school. I will no longer be able to eat a chicken biscuits on the senior patio with Jenifer, Kristen, and Amanda... or take last minute digital media pictures in the cafeteria while waiting for school to start. All of these will no longer happen after this week. It will be very hard seeing the majority of my friends leave Nashville, but I really do hope that we all keep in contact as we do now.

Academics, the worst, but proud memories that I will have. My academics have changed so much with the help of all of my teachers! I would not be where I am now without them. I will no longer have such a strong support system behind me like the academic support program, or even take my test elsewhere. I do believe I have grown enough to branch out and be able to start college strong, but it was nice to hear a teachers encouraging words of “just slow down, and take it one step at a time”. These are words I have heard many times while taking test. Especially this last year!

No more football games. No more “JUNGLE”. I am really sad about this! I will no longer paint up at the practice fields before a game. The jungle was so much fun. The music, the baby powder, the water all being thrown everywhere, was the best. It made our student section unique, to have our own speaker system throughout the section. Although administration would make us cut it off, or turn it down. I looked forward to football games every week because of this.

 All of this ends this week, and Jenifer, Amanda, and Kristen have been a very big part of this last year, and have seen me emotional about my past boyfriend, stressed about what is to come next, and hyper as I could possibly be. I never knew I could get so close to people so quick, only to have it all come to an end. Leaving these girls will be the hardest part about this next week. Kristen and Jenifer will leave for UTC in the fall, and Amanda goes to Belmont, and me to Vol State. I do not want our friendship and "SQUAD" to be the typical: us all going to college and hardly ever talking again. I don't think I can handle that! It would be different if we were all going to the same school, but us being separated is going to kill me!  I've had friendships to just fall like this and it sucks.  These girls have gotten me through this last year and made it the best! I just want to go back to the first day again and relive every moment, like Live on the Green, football games, shopping trips, and DT'S (deep talks) net to a fire. 

All of these memories, and I hope that we stay in contact, and visit each other every chance we get. I can not let myself loose these types of friend. They will be my bridesmaids in the future, and life long friends... I can not have that plan ruined. They have earned more of a sister status in my heart, and they are truly the best. 

In Tim McGraw's song Humble and Kind he sings "When you get where you're goin don't forget turn back around" I pray that we all four do this! That we do not forget about each other, because these are true friendships that I do not want to ever loose. 

Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angles unawares.  Hebrews 13: 1-2