I never thought of how hard it would me to actually start packing up my life and seeing what I've lived in since I was two become empty! I honestly never thought I would have to say goodbye to my childhood home! Yes, I have divorced parents and my dad has moved in and out of houses and apartments since they divorced... But this house I've lived in with my mom, step dad, and two step brothers has been the one consistent place! I always told myself I would never leave Nashville, and I always hoped that when the day came for my parents to move to Florida, I would be left this house, or it would some how still be in the family. Yeah maybe I have not said goodbye to it yet, and yeah it will still be in the family after...but this is my childhood home... I don't want to go, I don't think I am ready! I have so many memories here, like the times my cousin who would come babysit me...or the typical fighting with my stepbrothers. Not to metion the many different pant colors my room has gone through! It is hard to see it slowly become empty, and it will be hard to adjust!
Now this date for one night... PROM! This year has been the most stressful preparation for prom! I got the dress, the shoes, hair and make up appointments, but no date! I feel pretty ridiculous knowing that I've basically asked three none students to go and they all have other things to do! I am losing hope, and honestly just do not want to go! You see, seniors get presented, so it would be a bit weird that I be the only one without someone to present me... I bought a $300.00 dress which at the time I had a boyfriend and thought everything was just set I stone and all I had to do since he did not go to school with me is post a cute prom-posal picture! HA! Yeah that did not go as planned! So if you need a date HMU!
So college... It's coming down to wire of "Jessica what do want to do with your life" truth is... I have not freaking idea! I need to plan a visit to schools to see if I would feel comfortable at them and I need to apply for housing and some how find money for tuition without going in debt! Any suggestions please feel free to "lemme" know!--- I now find myself asking why I waited to the last minute to apply to a school? Why did I settle for just one back in the fall?
There is one thing that helped me make a big decision in my life back in seventh grade and that was a pros and cons list... I need to get on this!
When my heart is overwhelmed lead me to the rock that is higher than I. -Psalms 61:2
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